Slump

“Before the upswing
there’s always a slump.”

Slump is about the anti-climaxes, the turning points in life when we are forged by fire. Usually when someone speaks of a life-changing milestone, they refer to happier occurrences – an exotic trip, a big break, getting married or many other important life events. It seems that not too often we hear about the period that preceded the milestone. When we are only aware of the outcome, a lot of times we are lead to have overinflated expectations. I intend for this series to highlight the low points that we face just before the upswing by sharing pieces from my own slumps in life. Each painting is paired with an excerpt from my personal journals, chronicling private moments of intense struggles within. For more, read my blog post about this series.

(click on images for larger view)

November 18, 2012

12″x16″, oil on canvas. 2015
“For almost the last 3 years I’ve been wondering and thinking about a change of scenery…Maybe this is one of those things where…it’s up to me to either take the opportunity or keep staying in the situation I’m in…A situation where I feel stunted, sometimes lonely, sometimes hopeless and constantly reminded of how behind I feel with my life choices.”

September 3, 2011

16″x12″, oil on canvas. 2015
“I’m not going to lie, there are some days that feel sooo damn painful. Almost everyday is sprinkled with the disappointment I feel…Some days it’s barely noticeable, other days it’s a major distraction…but I can’t deny that it’s there on some level.”

June 3, 2014; July 22, 2014

12″x16″, oil on canvas. 2015
“I don’t know how or why things got to be the way they are now…I’m having a hard time understanding and dealing with whatever is happening here.
—-
It’s just not fair. Not that I know what ‘fair’ is I guess, but that’s a phrase that keeps popping up. So that’s it? I wish I could say that I’ve found some freedom in that but I can’t. I’m devastated. The disappointment is crippling.”

January 2015

12″x16″, oil on canvas. 2015
“I have been struggling and suffering for months, and I’ve had to internalize it most of the time.

It’s all been a weird, sad, confusing and challenging time for me. I just want to get back to when I had peace and balance.”

April 14, 2015

12″x16″, oil on canvas. 2015
“And when I got home, I slumped to the floor in a fetal position and wept. My heart and soul as heavy as 10,000 tons.”

March 6, 2011

16″x20″, oil on canvas. 2015
“I just feel so…gray. At this point, my only hope is that this is some sort of groundwork or build-up to something amazing.”