It Feels Like I'm Still Taking L's with My Art

Making and sharing art has been going so much slower than I expected.

Thankfully I can share that I finished the painting shown above for my Fine Art Memes series, but getting to that point took several weeks. I’m challenged with facing the fact that this is how I work now. And it suuuuucks. When my life had more freedom it was no problem. I could easily make at least 5-10 decent pieces in a year, even if I didn’t love them or sell them. These days I’m lucky if I can get 3 pieces completed, regardless of the quality. Creating the “Crying Jordan” painting was a little bit of a roller coaster. I went into it with so much confidence and excitement, but that shit was way harder than I thought it would be! By the time I finished, I found myself connecting with the image, crying on the inside. I thought: “It took me so long to get this done, how can I sustain any sort of art career? If I start posting work again out of nowhere, will it even matter? Maybe I should get a bunch of work done before I start sharing so I won’t have such a big gap next time. But will that matter if I take months in-between completing a piece every time?”

So many questions leading me to gray areas, which then lead me to feeling like I’m stuck all over again even though I’m taking steps forward. Taking L’s left and right. The way that I progressed through this piece mirrored how I’ve been progressing through this year in general. Wide eyed optimism at the beginning of the year, devolving into a Kanye shrug. I would like to revel in the act of finishing something, AND liking the results, but it’s hard to get away from feeling bad about the drastic change of pacing in how I work. Another act of letting go perhaps? I mean, at one point I wasn’t making anything and wasn’t sure if I ever would again. Many people would say that something is still better than nothing in this case. I don’t know.

At any rate, not sure how this turned so emo, I only wanted to share that I made some progress and painted something. At the same time I’m kind of annoyed with myself because I went from being stuck to being SLOW and that wasn’t in the plans at all. On top of all the other adjustments I’ve had to make in my life, all of this is yet another change that I have to deal with and I’m blown. I’ve been going through this in my creative life for the last 4 years now. I’m tired of this shit.

What's New: 2021

Things in my world have been on a wheel of constant change and adaptation, more than I’ve had to handle in years. To be thrown off-track since last year is one of the most common feelings that we are all sharing right now, so I know that my situation isn’t special at all but: what the hell? There’s been so much to navigate, and unfortunately my motivation to create got lost in the shuffle. When I finally did make some new work towards the last part of 2020 and gained momentum with it, another change in my life caused me to lose my workspace. Thankfully it’s only temporary because in the next week or two I will have an art studio again, but the change set me back for months, unable to make any creative work at all. The good thing is that it has allowed me some time to figure out what’s still important to me and what I want to change or improve upon moving forward. A…REBRAND perhaps??

I think that the ideas and the plans that I thought that I was going to execute last year ended up being deferred to this year. Again, nothing unusual for most people out here. Do we dare to have any enthusiasm this year? Sheeit, at this point, why not? A lot of us are already used to making the best of crappy situations by now so, might as well try to push it further and have some fun. Safely, of course. For me, that looks like all new everything. New workspace, new artwork, new videos, new skills, and best of all: a new attitude.

As I mentioned earlier, being unable to do work for a while and going silent online allowed me time to sort some stuff out about what I want to do once I’m able to get back to creative work. This year I want to be able to have fun with making art and sharing art. “Fun” is a component that was lost to me a few years ago, and I’ve realized how important it is for me to have in order for me to be creative and feel positive about what I’m doing. That being said, I’ve decided to do a better job of focusing on myself rather than comparing my work and my numbers to other artists out there. I also want to try to do things that invite more interaction with my audience. Engaging with the people was something that I realized is a big part of what makes creativity fun for me. So I plan to make some content that will hopefully bring more people to participate in what I’m doing. I have to say that it feels good to start getting reorganized, teaching myself some new things, and having a refreshed mindset toward my art life. Looking forward to posting more frequently here as well!

How have you been dealing with the start of a new year? Are you optimistic or scared?

Fine Art Memes

October is a big month for visual artists on the internet. Usually there are many art challenges floating around that give artists daily prompts as inspiration to create and share with others if they so choose. I had been struggling with my relationship with art for the last few years. A part of the issue was me being unable to remove any expectations from the work that I made and shared. “Making art for art’s sake” doesn’t reimburse me for my time, money and energy that I put into a project. However, I realize that that can be an unproductive and harmful mindset which stunts the growth of an artist. So this year, another artist friend and I decided to do our own themes instead of following any “official” prompts. I thought that it would be fun to paint some notable internet memes featuring Black people. There were some things going on that prevented me from staying consistent with the project throughout October, but I do intend for this to be an on-going series for as long as it’s enjoyable for me and other people.

I chose this subject because I thought that it would give me a chance to return to working on portraits in a way that felt engaging and amusing. When thinking about it further, I realized that memes mean more than just a hilarious way to share a relatable feeling, they have casually become a new form of communication over the years which I think is pretty significant. What also seemed significant to me was that so many of these recognizable and overshared images were of Black people. I think that it’s a piece of proof of the huge impact that Black people (women, men, LGBTQ+ and beyond) have on our culture. To be used so universally and representing a myriad of emotions and relatable situations that many people experience, or can at least laugh about, feels like a small way in which Black folk have transcended some of the barriers we face. So what started off as a fun, casual painting project for me became a kind of statement about how Black culture intersects and influences American culture as a whole.

So far, the best part about doing this series has been seeing how the public has responded to it. I went viral for the very first time!

I can’t believe this was the one

See some of the reactions and hilarious retweets here.

“Going viral” is a boost to the ego for sure, but it’s also a flash in the pan kind of thing so I in no way expected anything from this. However, I am thankful for the attention and encouragement that it gave me. It made me think that maybe people really are paying more attention to Blackness right now and are looking to support those who uplift it. For me the best part was seeing how people were having fun with the images all over again. This definitely isn’t a new idea, artists painting memes, but it’s great to see others respond to my own interpretation in different ways. Personally I struggled with being able to affect people with my work on a larger scale than I seemed to be working with at the time, and the viral experience gave me tangible proof that I could.

As I continue adding to this series, I will post them up on my Instagram page and twitter. Please follow along and add your two cents to our shenanigans. Eventually I may add a gallery here on my site once I have enough on hand. For affordable, quality prints from this series, head to my Redbubble store. I’m told that they make really great gifts!

I’d love to hear your thoughts about the concept of “fine art memes” in general, because as I mentioned above it’s not a new idea, but I’ve noticed that it’s a popular one with the public. Even though we’ve seen a lot of these images so often and they’re only a “right click save as” away, I still enjoy seeing other artists’ interpretations. Why do you think memes with Black people tend to resonate with the masses and be reused so often? What are your favorite memes of all time?