Artist Talk: Shrek-i L. Turner

I painted a self-portrait in a Shrek filter. Because why not?

Also, why are there so many Shrek filters?

I think I only completed about 2 paintings last year, which might be a personal low, and this one is easily one of my favorite pieces that I’ve ever done. It’s just really funny to me! As far as self-portraits go, this is the biggest departure so far in my series. I went from blue to green somewhere along the way and viewed through a filter. What is this one saying about where I am in life?

Well, in my art life things continue to be slow but I don’t even care anymore. It is what it fuckin is. And honestly, from where I used to be, that’s actually a great thing. I don’t feel shackled to any limiting mindsets anymore and when I do paint it’s fun again. The “fun” and “funny” is what I tend to seek out now. It used to be so much deeper than that, but now it’s more of an attitude of “Fuck it.” I have so many projects that I want to start or return to, but I’ll get to them when I get to them. There’s so much I’m juggling and absorbing in life at this point, that any time I can be creative is such a treat but I’m not in turmoil if I can’t do it as much as I would like. That’s been a freeing feeling for me. A win is a win.

Side note: What the hell is going on around us right now? What is this world and everything that we’re seeing around us? As a collective, we seem to be accepting that we’re watching the collapse of the world. So ok, cool. Fuck it. Here’s a painting of me as Shrek.

In moving away from deep-seated emotions as the source of inspiration of my work, I seem to be leaning into the absurd. That’s what this life feels like right now, observing the absurdity of life and the events that are making headlines in it. Because to stop and ruminate on the possibilities of what it all means and how we’ll be affected in the long-run is mentally and spiritually crippling. It doesn’t feel real. Even the superficial, yet entertaining, distractions in toying around with alternative versions of ourselves through filters, photo manipulation, and AI aren’t real. Fake portraits seem to be the new portraiture. So much so, that its legitimacy is an ongoing debate online. Is this evolution or devolution?

I don’t know the answer to that yet but I want to explore it further. If part of being an artist is reflecting the state of the culture at any given time, then I think I owe it to myself to try to share my perspective. I think this Shrek piece along with the meme paintings are the beginning of that statement.

A Lil Sip n Paint

So being a professional artist and going to a “sip n’ paint” event is cheating, right?

Recently I was invited to two different painting events where I got to have a little wine, and be lead through a fun painting exercise. I ended up with drastically different pieces to share. I enjoy doing these classes because it allows me to distill the painting experience to just “doing.” No overthinking, no planning, no second-guessing. No setting up! All I had to do was show up and paint. It was the first time in a while where I didn’t worry so much about the outcome and focused on finishing.

Going to these events reminded me of how easy it is to make something. It’s a feeling that I need to continue to tap into and recreate in my own space, and I’m TRYING so hard. I want to get closer to a casual approach to art making which is detached from anything business-related. I still struggle with being preoccupied with what should happen AFTER I make the artwork, but it’s getting better. Slowly.

How have I been making the efforts to be creative without attachments? Talking it out mostly (shout out to my therapist). I’ve been listening to friends and perusing through online spaces which have been equally motivating and intimidating, however the urge to care is falling away from me which is definitely a good sign.

Thinking back on those sip n’ paint classes though, I’m realizing how inspiring it was. It was an innocuous experience that tapped into something that’s been desperate to find its way back to me. Plus I have two new, complete pieces that feel like a creative departure in a good way! With this surprisingly moving experience, the saga to define this new art “era” that I’m creating, continues.

Lemme Tell You About This Painting That Made Me Cry

In today’s Artist Talk, it’s time for a throwback. I did some weird-ass youtube videos on this a long while back but we gone talk about it again here.

I woke up one morning and in my pool of random first thoughts, this one painting came up. It was a piece that I did several years ago at a figure painting workshop hosted by the prestigious Studio Incamminati in Philadelphia. Back when I was a young pup (my early-20s) beginning to define my artistic direction, my goal was to excel in contemporary realist figure painting. If you can believe it. Looking back on it now, this might have been the piece that made me reconsider that path, because that was probably the most difficult experience I’ve ever had in a classroom environment. I don’t find myself getting frustrated too easily, but this shit made me cry after class for 2 nights in a row.

There were a few things that came together about this piece that broke me down. First, the Anders Zorn palette. It’s a very limited color palette using only yellow ochre, ivory black, cadmium red and titanium white…Yeahhh just go ‘head and remove both my arms and my eyeballs.

Though on the one hand, I appreciated the challenge that it presented to me at the time, I cringe every time I think about it. It felt like very little room for expression at all. Second, because this style of painting requires exceptional observational skills and execution, a lot is expected from the students. The instructors are highly accomplished professionals and I could tell that they were trying to push me to the next level. BUT, that nudging, through no fault of their own, is also what made me feel like shit because I just could not get it “right” despite how much they were trying to help me. No matter what I thought I was doing the painting was still…off. It bothered me to no end! My hands were just not painting what I was seeing and I became so, so defeated. And I cried. Pitifully. Right into my Tommy DiNic’s roast pork sandwich, for 2 nights in a row.

“Face: terrible
Proportions: weird
Shadows: harsh
Color: blah”

— My Personal Report Card

In hindsight, I’m more okay with how it turned out than I used to be. I understand that it was only for practice. There are some successful areas, and there are some some parts I wish I could’ve done better. Ultimately, I chose to view it as a tough lesson in going easier on myself when it comes to participating in these workshops. It was also a pivotal moment in my development because this was the last project before becoming inspired to move into the style in which I paint to this day. So at least SOMEthing really good came out of this particular struggle. Allegedly.