My latest project found me paired up with an AP Art student from Hug High School here in Reno. We were submitting a piece for The Holland Project’s annual Stranger Show. This year’s theme was “Identity and Place.” The idea behind the work was all on my partner, Jeanette, I just helped pull it out of her! We started with a little bit of word association to come up with imagery that fit her interests and her sense of identity. To be so young, Jeanette has a very open mind and contemplates a lot about the ways of the world and what she thinks it should be. We also thought it’d be great to add zodiac elements to the painting since she feels a strong connection to astrology. Afterwards we came up with a few sketches then worked together painting parts of the piece. I was so happy with the way that our collaboration turned out, and I was in awe of her dedication to the work. For this project I had to push myself to work with materials that are vastly different than what I normally use. I even put together the canvas we painted on, something that I haven’t done in years. Because of this project, I was thinking that I might go back to making my own stretched canvases again…but we’ll see. Overall it was a satisfying experience for me.
Hopefully my mentee felt like she learned something from me and was challenged by the project. I enjoyed working with her so much! I felt very lucky to have been paired with her. There were several other artist groups that worked alongside us week by week who produced outstanding work! Last week was the show opening and it was amazing. It was obvious that everyone worked hard. I didn’t save many pictures, but there were professional photographers at the event that captured everything. I’ll share a few on here when they are posted.The show is up through Oct. 28th, so if you’re in Reno be sure to visit The Holland Project’s gallery and check it out!
Artist Talk: ever-present
I've finally gotten around to adding selected works from my show, "ever-present," from this past June. The work won't be new to those who follow me online or have seen it in-person, but to anyone that's been waiting for a more in-depth post about the show - I thank you for your patience. I have so much gratitude and appreciation towards everyone that took the time to visit Reno Art Works during the show's run, as it was a presentation that I took very much to heart. I think this was probably the first time in my burgeoning art career where I felt very emotionally attached to how people were going to respond to the work. Up until this show, I think that I've been able to maintain a healthy level of detachment: invested enough to care about my work and to share it, but not so much that my ego would be bruised if someone didn't like it. I think that I was so nervous and affected this time because of the subject matter. With ever-present, I directly addressed some intense emotions from points in my romantic life. I've certainly touched on it before in my work but to be honest, I didn't delve that deep within. I deliberately kept the topic close to the chest because for so long I wasn't sure that I wanted to have that level of transparency with the world. Perhaps I was ashamed of those feelings. Showing vulnerability is one thing, and it is a major key to the work that I do, but I don't want to appear weak. It's all fun and games until someone breaks your heart and you're told that you have to "just move on." Then what?There's something about growing up as a black woman that makes one feel like you can't, or shouldn't, express sorrow or anguish over losing a romantic partner - especially if it's a man. "Niggas ain't shit," "Dick comes a dime a dozen," "I can do bad all by myself,"...you know the drill. There's a sort of pressure to always appear like you have it together and that you're impenetrable. And if you're stuck on a man, then well...you a weak bitch. Plain and simple. I don't think that I'm weak, I just have an extremely hard time letting go of special people. And I don't want to be judged negatively for that. Suffice it to say, I don't have an easy time admitting or working through heartache. I have very supportive friends and family that I can talk to, but shit, there's a deep seeded sadness over some of these experiences I've had that I would never express to them even. It made sense to me to keep a lot of my struggles with matters of the heart to myself. However, over the years I've learned that sometimes no amount of pulling it together and shoving on can change how you feel about someone. In a case like that the best you can hope for, is to make different decisions moving forward. Because if you were able to reach that level of openness with a person, where any action they take can affect you that deeply, you can't take that back. There's no casually glossing over an experience like that. They're a part of you now, bruh, whether you get over the person or not.As with a lot of people, I find myself confused yet fascinated by romance and the part it plays (or doesn't play) in my life. Since moving 3000 miles away from my hometown almost 4 years ago, I've hit the six year mark of being without any committed romantic relationship and I entered my 30s. I say that in order to provide some context to where I am in life, not to pity myself, for the record. Though I don't consider myself to have a particularly strong desire to couple-up (but I'm mostly open to it), I do find myself constantly making observations about couples and singles, and my place within the ever-changing dating landscape. I write about it in my journals A LOT. There are many years-worth of journal entries where I've written a plethora of positive, forlorn and complicated passages about my romantic life and what I've picked up from observing things around me. I mean, it's probably obsessive at this point. Those journal entries provided the backdrop for the work in ever-present. I think the combination of the isolation I struggle with in my (fairly) new home, navigating through the end of a romantic involvement that was a game-changing experience for me and falling into heavy self-reflection through old journal entries brought me to a tipping point. Just writing it all out or talking about it wasn't good enough anymore. I decided that it was finally time to start addressing some of these things through color.
So did being more intentional about expressing these private thoughts and emotions through my art help me get over some kind of emotional hump? Did I learn anything? Yes and no. I did learn to be less afraid to be this open in my work. Extending myself in this way allowed me to connect with others on a deeper and fulfilling level. The outpouring of compassion and tenderness I received in response to the work was staggering. I suppose I knew that no one would be outwardly rude about it, but I didn't expect as much positivity either. Opening up and sharing myself, made strangers feel safe to open up to me in a way that probably would've never happened any other way. To be able to connect with people through my artwork, and to have those moments to offer comfort to one another about very personal and sensitive topics regarding matters of the heart was a life-affirming experience. I think I must have needed that as much as they did. I am thankful to all of the visitors for being so understanding and kind to me, they made it easier for me to get through it and to feel encouraged about what I'm doing as an artist. It's an incredible feeling to know that I can offer a perspective that people find refreshing, authentic and relatable. I definitely have a little more relief knowing that the personal experiences I touched on were not uncommon. The only detractor is that I wish all of this helped me improve my current outlook about my personal dealings with romance/dating. I still struggle a lot, and although I discovered that art-making can be a good outlet for me, just having a release isn't enough. But I suppose that's a completely separate issue that I won't talk about here. At any rate, please visit the gallery page for ever-present to view some of the stand-out pieces with accompanying captions where noted. The captions are either direct quotes from my personal journals (in the same vein as my short "Slump" series), quotes from personal conversations or were found.As always, I would love to hear what you have to say about the work, this blog post or if you have something on your heart that you need to bare. Leave your thoughts in the comments section.
I Guess the Break's Over
As I've started to turtle back into my artlife and art-related work inside and outside of the studio, I'm excited and probably a little bit intimidated. A lot of positive things have happened so far this year in my artlife which have been very encouraging and motivating. However, building and maintaining some kind of momentum is an undertaking in which success is varied and elusive. I'm not really looking forward to diving back into that pool.Thinking back on the two last years, my busiest and most productive years so far, I learned that it's not all about just making what you want then hanging out with your friends and attendees at art openings. I learned a lot about time-management and process, marketing, and burn-out. On top of all that, it was something that I had to walk through alone most of the time. The solitude of being an artist and making art definitely hit me hard in the face. I found that I had to make several adjustments in order to counter-balance it and to ensure that I was fulfilling a certain level of social interaction and physical activity to preserve my sanity. I suppose I could paint with a friend or with a group, but I know that I'm most productive and comfortable working alone so I just deal with whatever comes along with it. This year I think I was able to juggle everything so much better than last year, especially mentally. So that's something.
During my summer break, I found myself in a deep stew of contemplation about my artlife, my personal life and the next steps with everything. With the imminent change of season, I'm seeing a concurrent shift in my attitude and focus. My hope for the rest of the year is to continue to educate myself on the various aspects of pursuing an art career in this era, to make more work and continue to put myself out there. I think the work that I've done over the last couple of years has been a good start, but I've been thinking lot about what it means to make a series and how to expand upon the ideas that I've touched on thus far. With each show I've done, looking back I think it only touched the tip of the iceberg of what I'm interested in expressing with my work. In order to take things to the next level I think I'll have to grind into those themes to get to the heart of it all for me. Then, perhaps I'll be able to have a more defined identity as an artist, which is something that I'm continuously seeking to mold and put into words.Speaking of putting shit to words, among the first tasks I've given myself was to update a few things on this site. My bio and artist statement needed to be cleaned up. I swear I tweak my artist statement at least twice a year, which is probably normal (I hope). For me, the core of the message is about the same I guess, I just keep finding better, more concise ways of saying it as I go along. Check out the current iteration of it...while it lasts. It's constantly evolving.Another task that's on deck is cleaning up my gallery. Damn son, I can't tell you how long I've been thinking about that! I think I just have to categorize it better. I hadn't really figured that out until...this morning? Literally this morning before finishing this blog post. So, now that I have a better idea of how to update my gallery I'll have to show that some love over the next few days. I also have been trying to figure out how to reintroduce my shop for those interested in buying originals. Still not solidified, but I think I almost have it. Finally, I will be adding selected works from my ever-present show, with the original captions that I used from the exhibit along with a full blog post about the inspiration for it. Be sure to follow me online (Facebook, Instagram), subscribe to my monthly newsletter, or just check back here at your convenience if you want to learn more about that.All the other shit that I have in the works is mainly projects for other people, and possibly my own podcast or art vlog on YouTube. Probably just more videos in general, because why not? It can't hurt. Oh, and probably more blog posts. Because I like writing and talking to y'all.That's it for now I think. If there's anything you want to see on the site, or want me to talk about or share in my blog, or if there's something I'm already doing well that you like please let me know in the comments! I certainly want to hear it.