This series has been a long time coming in my art life. In the era of #blacklivesmatter, the discussion of being black in America (not necessarily “African American”) is all over mainstream media and social outlets. With more people becoming aware of the struggles of the black male, I’ve chosen to address one of the struggles of the black female - hair.For decades black women have damaged and burned themselves, figuratively and literally, for trying to force their hair into submission. To those who aren’t as conscious about this issue and the sensitivity of it amongst the black community, this might not seem like a big deal. Please consider yourselves lucky. For those of us who understand the deep psychological roots of the condemnation of a tighter, fluffier hair texture on a woman, we know that it’s a constant battle - no matter how much we may like the hair. It’s a battle against the subtle and not-so-subtle messages about beauty that we receive in society. It’s a battle against a conservative professional world, against other women and even a battle against our own race. The list goes on and on. Yes, over hair.It goes to show that it’s not “just hair,” it’s our identity. We have grown tired of feeling like we are less beautiful or less acceptable because of it. But within the last 10 - 15 years, we have started to say “No more.” We are reclaiming our “edges” and we are redefining our beauty standards ourselves. We are forcing society into submission instead.This isn’t about weave-shaming or policing non-naturals, because the beauty of it is that we can all do whatever we want with what’s on our head. I’d just like to give special recognition to those who have chosen to work with what they have. It takes a certain level of creativity and patience. It’s an art. Hairstyles and haircuts that would’ve been deemed ugly or unfeminine are now coveted and ubiquitous. There is no other hair texture in the world that has the same versatility and now we know it. We’re updoing it, dying it, adorning it and stretching it with the best of them.The Flyy and Kinky series is inspired by my own journey with accepting my hair. It is also inspired by all of the people who have dedicated a part of their lives to celebrating and uplifting black women’s beauty and excellence. I appreciate those efforts because, unfortunately, it’s very necessary that we have them. With this series I intend to join the movement by showcasing vibrant, fun paintings that depict hairstyles and textures seen on women of color in a way that expresses how I see them: confident, smart, beautiful, and spirited - just to name a few things.At this point, I see this as only the beginning of this series. I would love to keep expanding on this idea and the imagery.
Exhausted
I'm really tired! Is it ok for me to admit that?With all the "hustlin'" and "grindin'" everyone claims to be doing these days, it seems bad to mention wanting a little bit of downtime or a slower pace every now and then. If you do dare to speak such talk, apparently you weren't 'bout that life in the first place. Damn! There's no in-between, huh? Just grind endlessly or go home? Hashtag "teamnosleep?" Man, fuck that. I guess I'll be Team #turndownforchillin.I've committed myself to participating in more shows and producing more work this year. At the time of setting those goals, it all seemed so exciting and possible! I'm aware that it takes work and that there are mental, emotional, and even social costs to increasing production and visibility as an artist. I can grind and grind, promote, prepare, research, and network - things that one is supposed to do to be set up for success when a period of positive momentum hits. All of those things are tiring enough even when nothing is happening, but you can become accustomed to it. There's an awareness of the tasks to complete and some fatigue, sure, but there's not as much urgency during stages of famine or when one is in-between projects. It's manageable. However, recently I've learned that when a stride really does hit, you have to do all of those same tasks to the umpteenth power. All of that plus anything else that comes up while gaining momentum. The tired I've felt during "downtime" is nothing compared to what I'm feeling during this time of progress. I really have to be ON. Especially tonight, because tonight is the opening reception of my latest solo show:I have to shake hands and kiss babies, and make the shit look easy. Even though on the inside I'm filled with anxiety, doubt and a bunch of other ambivalent thoughts and emotions. I have to self-promote and market everything like crazy. No one tells you how weird that feels. And I have to do it across every social media platform that I have. Nigga, what...? I have to actually tell people to buy my work, I can't JUST ask them to come. Semantics! That's another thing that feels weird which no one tells you about. I don't want to have to think about that. Oh, and also, I have to work a full-time job and still stay on track with a schedule of creating new work. Thankfully I have a little bit of time to kill now that this new show is up, but I can't sit still for too long. Yo, ya girl is tired!But would I trade? Helllll nah! I'm exhausted and a little overwhelmed right now but the progress is intoxicating. I can't think about doing anything else but making good work that feels authentic to me, getting it out there and connecting with people through it. But to do so means pushing past a lot of things that I may perceive as limitations, or even annoyances. "It's levels to this," and I think I might have finally stepped up one. I've done too much to be able to reach the stride I've hit right now. Who knows how long it will last? So if it means I have to be tired to get to that then so be it. A friend of mine recently suggested that being tired is a good thing, and I think that he may be right....But forreal though, right now all I want is to be naked with a big ass plate of ribs, in a warm bed, while getting a body massage. Can I just get that about now???